Posted in Clothes, Fashion, Life, Random Thoughts, Thighs

My Autumn Wardrobe is coming out

September is well and truly here and that can only mean one thing for me… It’s Autumn!

My favourite season has started.

Technically a british Autumn season begins on the 22nd September but as I type this I can see from my office widow the trees are beginning turn a warm shade of orange and the air con in the office has been shut off for another year. It seems that the good old British summer started and ended in May.

The feelings of guilt and sadness that plague me through summer are over. No longer will I worry about not having that Summer Body (until next year).

My ghostly white complexion will not stand out, my legs can be covered without any of the “aren’t you hot in jeans?” comments, my scarf collection will make its appearance!

Yes, it really is the best season.

I’m taking the opportunity whilst I’m visiting home this weekend to dig out my winter wardrobe and grab as many blankets and onesies as I can carry.

 

My Outfit Planning

During Autumn, my outfit planning becomes less and less traumatic. I know that an average September day can be both frosty and hot. Meticulously designed outfits would be rendered useless. I can happily stick to the classics.

Jeans, Vest, Chunky Cardigan, Boots.

Pinterest has this style nailed.

I’m excited to get back into skirts this season, which I know may sound strange as we’re coming out of one of the hottest summers on record but with my chunky, pale and sometimes prickly legs (why is it that whenever I shave my legs there is always a bit I miss) I avoid all skirts when it’s warm. All those girls that have experienced the dreaded “chub-rub” will sympathise.

Now the tights are out. Black tights go with everything, thermal tights are one of the best inventions of the 21st century, even clear tights can even out any irregular tan – from a bottle, don’t get too excited, my skin only burns in the sun.

My wardrobe also houses a large collection of boots – in summer this isn’t exactly useful but coming into the cooler months it’s a god-send. They work with almost every outfit. From the Ariana-Grande-inspired-thigh-high boots that took me weeks to find (chunky thighs mean only lace up ones fit) to my ever-growing obsession with the Chelsea boot. My bright pink Doc Martins may even venture out from their solitude.

 

Sale Shopping

September also brings one of the better perks of summer, the end of season sales. A chance for me to leisurely waste time flicking between websites looking at all the summer clothes that I can either buy for next year or transform into autumnal outfits.

Yesterday saw the beginning.

I regularly shop on online discount websites – why spend loads of money on something that won’t fit me if I lose weight (optimistic outlook).

For the first time I found a website selling clothes for under £5… I’ve already spent my university years shopping in bargain bins and then slowly worked up to everything5pounds.com as I crawled out of student debt.

Now lessthan10pounds.com is my new go to site. My latest purchases:

(Photos taken from lessthan10pounds.com)

 

Top1

The pretty floral top, well, it’s pretty. I love cold shoulder tops and even if I don’t get to wear this till next year, it will be cute in spring. At a cost of £4.50, I think it will be fine to wear if the weather warms slightly this month.

 

 

 

 

Top3

The black floral one, I think this will be nice for relaxed evening drinks this month. Trying to meet new people is difficult and my aim is to join something before I get to winter and refuse to make the effort.

I already work in black jeans so to throw this in my bag with a pair of chunky heels and my leather jacket means I can go straight from the office to the bar.

 

 

 

Top2

 

The cobalt blue cami. I love love love swing cami tops. It always seems like a slightly dressier way of wearing a vest, and it covers my slightly podgy tummy.

Blue dominates my wardrobe so I did have to really think about buying this but for £2 how could I not?

I’m going to wear this at the weekend (assuming it’s delivered on time) with ripped jeans, ankle boots and a beige chunky cardigan (‘vintage’ cardigan bought for my late grandma 21 years ago). Effortless and comfy.

 

I’m constantly looking for new outfit ideas and I can guarantee that I will be able to find something in one of the hundreds of charity shops that fill my home town and there are always the forgotten gems at the back of my wardrobe.

 

I’m mainly excited to dig out my scarf hoard!

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Posted in Clothes, Fat, General Issues, Thighs

Embrasing The Wide-Leg Trouser

Anyone else got that impulsive friend who decides on a Friday afternoon “Hey, let’s do something this weekend”? They have no regard for the fact it takes a small army of people to help me decide what I’m going to wear.

This weekend, my annoying but lovely friend and I are off for a chilled day in Oxford. Cue weather checks to rule out outfits.

redd-angelo-229312.jpg

As my beautiful boss has told me he’ll cover the office for most of the afternoon so I can go home early, I have a little extra time to plan. A quick search of ‘relaxed nice outfits’ (I know, so inventive), has not helped.

I, as usual, have a few issues with outfit planning.

396H

My friend is a guy who regularly dresses in the salmon-shorts-white-polo or designer jeans-hoodie combo – as you can imagine he’s at the slightly posher end of the spectrum so his outfits are relatively easy to sort.

As he’s got this posh side, we regularly end up in some of the most expensive places around…other times he’s obsessed with a McDonald’s. Other fast food chains are available.

This makes outfit planning difficult. My sizeable thighs do not help. I’ve come to the realisation that even though they make up 90% of my wardrobe, skinny jeans are not my friend. They’re too warm, too restrictive and make my legs look very short and fat.

My only inspiration right now are the girls that confidently wear the wide legged trouser and a cute vest whilst strutting through the streets with a floppy hat, massive sunglasses and an oversized handbag.

I can guarantee I won’t look that good but they remind me of my pjs so at least I’ll feel that good.

Huge problems arise when I think of the average length of leg, I am never average. I’ve got to spend my Friday night shopping for the perfect length or at lease a pair I love to give myself enough time to alter them tomorrow. The pressure is on!!

 

 

 

Posted in Fat, Thighs, Weight-loss

Fat Thighs & Good Pies

How many times have you been out with friends thinking you looked good in your little black dress or skin tight body suit tucked into a pair of skinny jeans?

How many times have you been wrong?

 

It has been exactly a year since I have left University. I spent a good 4 years living with three girls, who are three of the nicest humans I have met in my 20-odd years on this planet. Pushed together by worried parents on the first day of university we bonded over a love of tea and biscuits. I was the shortest of my little group and in terms of weight, I was 3rd out of 4.

I know University was the main cause of my weight gain but I’ve never considered myself to be obese until a pharmacist blurted out that it was normal for obese people like me to have a higher blood pressure. I just thought of myself as chunky.

The problem for me started this weekend. A bi-annual meet up with the Uni chums and suddenly I was not only the shortest but now the fattest.

Horror flashed through me and although I put on a brave face and congratulated my former chunkier friend on her new found skinniness, I was truly mortified.

 swings

 

As usual we got drunk and I forgot all about it…. UNTIL THE PHOTOS.

It’s never a nice feeling after a night out to get that notification

“Jessica has tagged 98 photos of you”

I can’t be the only one whose heart sinks and involuntary mutters the word “b****”.

The photographs from the weekend show a group of happy and rather intoxicated friends having a good time. On closer inspection, we see a shorter girl in a beautiful dress that sticks to her every curve. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that this girl has bought this dress to compliment her hour glass figure, there’s only one problem… Her thighs are a match for this guy.

Luke McAlister

This is Luke McAlister, All Blacks Rugby Player. Yes, he is gorgeous but imagine him in a dress… still gorgeous.

 

Now I’ve decided to try to do something about *dramatic sobs* the size of my thighs.

About a month ago I spent my well-earned cash on new sports equipment, a barrel bag, swimming costume and goggles and then they sat in the bag in the boot of my car waiting for the day I finally worked up enough motivation to go. They are no longer in said bag, as I used it as a weekend bag this week, they are however still in their original packaging in a corner of my room.

 

So it is now Thursday, I’ve spent 3 days googling “How to lose weight in 2 weeks” which is when I see my new skinny friend again and also a minor pop star that I’ve been besotted with for about 2 years – I need to look slimmer.

For all you defeatist attitudes, yes, I have already bought a body shaper, or as we affectionately refer to it, all-over-fat-pants.

My main problem area right now are my sizable thighs – Not something you can control with hidden fat pants, especially when you’re barely 5’2” and all your dresses are t-shirt length on an average heighted person.

To make matters worse, I am a northern country girl living ‘down south’. My love of pies and everything with gravy gets stronger the more homesick and lonely I become.

I (after Saturday, as I’ve got a family sized trifle to finish) will attempt to lose weight using any method that doesn’t involve going under the knife.

 

I am very appreciative of any tips. Please be aware that I am one of the laziest humans on the planet and already eat relatively healthily MOST days.